“How do you speak Tamil so well?”
“I hope my child speaks like you when they grow up.”
“What did your parents do to make you learn Tamil?”
Those questions and statements – and others like them – are ones I often get from older Tamil speaking people. They’re generally parents worrying about their kid’s disinterest and/or lack of skill in Tamil.
Those parents usually speak to me in English.
As heavy and obvious as it is, let’s place that irony aside for a moment. Instead let me first try to answer the roots of what they’re asking.
“Why do you hold onto Tamil?”
Answer: I love it.
“Why do you love Tamil?”
I’ve answered this before. It came down to: How Tamil sounds to me, my softer personality in Tamil, and pride in Tamil’s age.
Those answers aren’t wrong but they are insufficient. They are shallow. They are naive. Let me weave in complexity.
Tamil should be my mother tongue. It is the first language that graced my ears and the first that I learned to speak. Most of my development into a person, however, has taken place in the United States of America. Tamil could be found in my home and in the viper dens of the Tamil aunties and uncles we would visit in a pitiful search for familiarity. Little bubbles of Tamil in a wide, vibrant land of my true mother tongue: American English.
American English is the language I think in. It is not the tongue I was born with but it is the one that will come with me to my grave. I adore this tangled bastard of a language.
Tamil is what we’re here to discuss but you can see how much I love English because it has found its way into a discussion about Tamil. Evidently it wasn’t enough that I’m expressing myself in English in the first place. It feels like talking about your spouse when you’re with your paramour. While you’re in the bed you share with your spouse.
There are some of you that’ll take offense to that joke. Deal with it. I reserve the right to joke about the languages I love.
Speaking of taking offense, there was an earlier opportunity to do so for the people that like being angry at something. I referred to the homes of Tamil aunties and uncles as viper dens. Now that wasn’t a joke. I meant that with my whole chest. Tamil, to me, is also the language of my greatest detractors. Thoughts about my choice in career, what they think of who I am as a person, and -the worst offense of them all- how they see my parents due to how I am. How dare they use Tamil to devalue the people that gave it to me.
Tamil has been used to love me and it has been used to hurt me. Just as English has.
There’s your answer, my unaware friends who want their child to play in Tamil just as I do. Your child must be loved in Tamil and they must be hurt in Tamil. Don’t take this to mean that you must abuse your child. It means they must live in Tamil.
I love Tamil because I have lived in it. It’s that simple.
Exposure is the greatest method of learning a language. Most people who are fluent in multiple languages will tell you this. Grammar lessons and demands from an authority figure can only take a student so far. I have watched Tamil movies and listened to Tamil songs. I have had arguments in Tamil. I have had a two hour long conversation with a Tamil author in Tamil. Let me say it again:
I love Tamil because I have lived in it. I have been immersed in the languages I love.
Sweet words have been delivered by them. நீ உன் அப்பா மாதிரியே சிரிக்கிறாய். You smile just like your father.
Hateful words have been delivered by them. உன் முகப்பரு அருவருப்பா இருக்கு. Your pimples are disgusting.
Neutral words have been delivered by them. அந்த பையை கொண்டுவா. Bring me that bag.
Exposure and immersion. It may be obvious but I feel like if I’m being asked “How do you speak Tamil so well?” in English, then the answer isn’t actually obvious. I don’t necessarily blame the people asking it though. English has been a poisonous source of pride for many Tamil people. To speak English is to be a person worthy of praise. To speak English is to be better than the people who can’t since it opens up many more job opportunities. And, as we know, the entire worth of a human being is how much money they make.
(Aside: I feel compelled to clarify that last sentence was sarcasm.)
Stop putting English on a pedestal. Especially to the point of ignoring or even denigrating Tamil. It’s embarrassing to see. If you’re so worried about appearances and what other people think of you, then I think it should be blatantly obvious that being bilingual (or more) is a greater source of pride and praise.
English is a language like any other and so is Tamil. Neither is better. Neither is worse. The only reason I feel such love for English and Tamil is sheer chance. I could have just as easily been born as a Japanese person who immigrated to Brazil as a child and grew to love Portuguese.
What wonderful luck that I got English and Tamil. What wonderful luck it would have been to get Japanese and Portuguese. What wonderful luck that we have language.
Give your children as many as you reasonably can.
I know my dear English speaking Tamil people. Maybe one of you will read this, take what I’m saying to heart, and apply it. Maybe one of you will understand that Tamil school will only give vocabulary and grammar. If that.
One is enough.
I Am Saha 